LONELY BOY / sons without fathers
“Whether he is there or not, your father is the man who defines you. He presents you with a challenge, a set of questions. And the paradox is that he also has the answers to those questions. If you haven’t answered your father’s questions by the time he dies, then that day is the day you will suddenly realize that you are alone in the world. You now have to work out the questions and the answers all by yourself.”
Ken Wiwa, In the Shadow of a Saint
I’ve always been susceptible to men without fathers. I can’t tell you why, but most of my boyfriends and close male friends have either had poor relationships with their fathers, been emotionally or physically abandoned by them or have had to deal with their untimely death at an impressionable age.
Some have lives entirely paralyzed by the loss and are unable to fully move forward, others have triumphant tales about reconciliation, and still others have either found replacement role models or learned to live as comfortably as possible without. Whatever the story, one thing is clear, the father-son bond is vital to a man’s complete development, and lack of it is a gaping void that must be somehow filled.
I'm interested in how that void gets filled. So interested that I'm developing a literary project on the topic. It will be an anthology of stories by men about their fathers - the loss or absence of. The working title is Lonely Boy and you can find my blog on the topic here: Lonely Boy / sons without fathers.
I invite you to join the conversation and share your stories.