HerKind.com

You might never believe this for a person who's had at least two professions that require major use of telephones, but I've always been a little phone shy. As long as I was attached to an organization and calling on its behalf I could call or cold call anyone within the parameters of a work day. But ask me to call to order a pizza and I'd rather you do it. This, by the way, applies to calling family members, friends and acquaintances.

How bizarre.

Thank goodness, then, for the modern technology that means I never have to pick up a phone - with MSN, Google Talk, Gizmo et al, email and Facebook messaging, I can go for days without actually opening my mouth to form a sentence. This is preferable because, as a writer, I can make a much better impression on the page, even over instant messaging. I'm wittier, and likely alot  more succinct. There's no shaking voice to betray nerves, and no gaping holes in sentences because I can't think of the exact right word.

The only kink in this armour is that it contributes greatly to lonliness and isolation. On any given day I can communicate with many and various people in my life. But without the voice to voice connection, or dare I say, face to face, it feels sort of empty.

This, believe it or not, has just begun to occur to me. Or should I say caught up to me. I'm probably not alone in this and I think it might be a cultural phenomenon even.

My generational cohort and older (40 plus) is concerned, for the most part, about keeping up with technology. We have to be in order to stay active in our careers. But I believe even the younger folk would suffer from lack of tactile communication, except that they don't let technology replace real socializing the way we do. Why? Because we're "busy" building our careers, keeping our jobs, raising our families, and the blah, blah, blah of it all.

Life is too damn short!

All spring and summer I've been working from home, trying to ramp up my freelance writing career. To be successful, not only do you need to pick up the phone once in awhile, and much more than I do, but you also have to have confidence enough to keep at it day after day. Both of those require voice connection with people. A) to get work and B) to get necessary moral support from friends and family.

By the way, I'm usually always online and available for people, no matter what - maybe I think that if I'm not I will become redundant, even invisible. But my visibility makes me invisible anyway because you can't blame people for taking you for granted. So what seems like an easy solution to my shyness actually works to distract me from my own life, and prevents me from moving forward. I'll drop anything for anybody, anytime.

Moving forward is my personal hallmark, so you can see my concern.

Well, here's what I've decided. Starting today, except for vital emails, and my only phone which is a cell, I have cut all electronic communication. No more distracting or replacement-for-the-real-thing conversations over IM. I really want to find out what happens to me, for me and with others when I confine myself to old fashioned phone calling, to reach people, to make plans with them, to hear a voice that soothes or makes me laugh.

Now, I have only told one person in my life I'm doing this, so it might take folks some time to catch on. But it's an experiment designed to getting back to basics and seeing how I feel with it. And to get me over my phone phobia, which isn't the best way to conduct a business, or personal life for that matter. To take me away from my hermit-like tendencies. It's too easy to hide my real life behind words designed especially for quick bursts of humour, wit, or emoticons that don't even begin to tell a story.

I saw one of my best friends the other night and she dropped me off at home afterwards saying, "call me." How can I explain to a person I've known for over 20 years, that even that phone call is sometimes hard for me. So hard that I just won't do it. I'm not sure why. It could just be that I got out of the habit of calling and found what I believed was an easier way.

Turns out it's not. At least not right now.

For the time being I've given myself no choice but to call and answer my phone. I'll check in after a couple weeks and let you know what, if anything, I've learned.