The Joy Project

Once in awhile I like to ask people this question: What is the ONE thing that is guaranteed to put a smile on your face, no matter how you're feeling? The caveat is that the "thing" cannot be children, pets, partners or their activities. Believe me, this question can stump people.

For me, it's a happy face (preferably yellow) and penguins (photos or graphics), and of course the sight of a mountain. Why? I have no idea. I just know they make me smile. I can actually physically feel the lift.

For too long now, I've been concentrating on things that are missing from my life: children, partner, enough money, a life in the city in which I prefer to live... etc. You get the picture. So, needing a new focused writing project I decided to try to come up with words about the joy in my life.

Hence, The Joy Project.

Today's joy has been finishing the work that makes me feel completely prepared to teach my continuing ed. class tonight. A great deal of my joy comes from writing and activities related to my journalism, writing career. Like, interviewing intelligent and interesting people who are doing good things in the world, or reading exquisitely, admirably written book for review. (less joyful is transcribing those interviews and labouring over a review of a writer I admire)

But, what I hope to discover is joy in other parts of my life to which I tend to give less weight. There is, after all, joy to be found in every single day. Even tiny amounts.

My intention is to unearth the joy in my life so that I can appreciate it more and feel happier. Writing always helps with this so I think it's a perfect marriage.

More to come...

New resolutions, a hundred times

The other day at the bakery (my part time job) an attractive young couple - early mid-20s, clearly in the bloom of new love,  came in to order their custom made cookie (the specialty of the bakery). The woman took the opportunity of the 3 minute wait to go to the ladies room and while gone, the man rushed up to the cash register with one of the pre-packaged decorated cookies.

It said "I Love You."

Since he had to pay by debit, the transaction was still in process when the young lady emerged from the washroom. The guy quickly covered the cookie with a napkin and she proceeded to her seat to let him finish. I didn't see what happened when he gave her the cookie - I got busy with other tasks, and anyway, I didn't want to intrude on their private moment. The entire scene struck me as incredibly sweet. But it did leave me feeling a bit sad. Not because I have never had such a moment, I have. The sadness came because I truly can't remember what that moment feels like.

Here's my latest TVO The Agenda insight essay on a new year bringing new hope for my love life!

Retrospection

2011: It seemed like such a short year, but in retrospect, I packed a lot in.

January: Beginning of a year long apprenticeship in cupcake baking and decorating which spawned a new business venture and website to match.

March: 3rd time doing The Artist's Way - a method of clearing out clutter to renew creative impulses. It worked for awhile but then life got in the way.

March: Began learning to play guitar.

February/March/April: Covered the Federal election and Royal wedding for CTV.ca. Fun and lucrative!

May: Attending NDP victory party when Jack Layton became leader of Official Opposition. Huge highlight of this year! Also celebrated victory of Davenport MP Andrew Cash, whose campaign I'd worked on for the past year or more.

SoHo, NYCMay: First ever trip to New York City, including a trip to SoHo with my great new pal, Mimi. Also went to the Algonquin Hotel, scene of the legendary literary Round Table. And spent an emotional morning at Ground Zero. Wrote this about it. I confess, I have not stopped thinking about this city and how I can organize my life around being there often.

June: My second great-niece is born. Joyful for nephew and partner. More sadness for me as I continue to try to reconcile my childlessness. Click here for a TVO essay I did on the emotional impact of being a "non-mom."

July: Signed contract for my first ever book deal!! For more info look here.

July: Classic Cupckes is born when my business card arrives.

July: Deputation at City Hall in support of libraries. Stayed up all night, finally appeared before the Mayor and Councillors in the wee small hours of Day 2, but it was well worth it. I often say that each person can make a difference in politics, no matter how they vote and I proved it to myself this day.  My TVO essay on this is here.

August: First ever wedding cupcake catering, 200 chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with purple icing and fondant flowers. See photo here.

August: Sadly, attended Jack Layton's funeral at Roy Thomson Hall.. so sad. But ultimately uplifting as Chalk memorial, Toronto City Hallthe celebration of his life was inspirational; the public outpouring leading up to the state funeral, witnessing Olivia Chow's grace in the face of so much grief, listening to Stephen Lewis' eulogy (see it here) and hearing so many gorgeous performances. Still, it's hard to believe he is no longer with us. He was a mentor and a friend and I miss him.

Summer: Worst poverty I've ever experienced, though on the outside things look great. I seem to have weathered it though. Barely.

September: Reconnected with my best friend from elementary and high school. Such a blessing. I feel a part of me has returned.

September: Another season of TVO: The Agenda Insight essays begins.

November: First ever job in a bakery. Extremely physically exhausting but learning a great deal for my own baking business.

December: Signed first ever teaaching contract at Ryerson, course begins in January.

Another year of interviewing and writing about some interesting people, important initiatives and great books.

As has been the case for too long, my personal life is sadly neglected in favour of career ambition and trying to earn a living in an industry currently characterized by rapid changes, resulting in diminishing returns for us writers. And as always, I vow to change it and focus on balancing the work and/or worry with more social time. We shall see if I can figure out how the hell to do this!

And so... on to the next... 2012.

Social media hiatus

Today I began a break from social media, mainly Facebook, which I plan to continue until the year turns over. So about 3 weeks or so. I've done this before but this time I plan to document how it feels to disconnect.

Recently I was asked how I manage to keep my promise when I do this, so here are some guidelines:

1)I  logged out of Facebook to make it easier to stay away - the keep me signed in option is not on, and I don't remember my password, thankfully.

2) in my line of work, it's harder and harder not to use Twitter, but I'm going to try. I'm not a huge tweeter anyway - I haven't figured out how to use it to my optimum benefit. Some days it just feels like a whole bunch of people clammering for attention.

3) email is allowed, I need it for work

4) I plan to document what I do instead of social media, and how I connect with people, or whether I even try to.

In case you're wondering why I'm doing this at Christmas, which seems like the time when people connect more than ever. Well, I have to admit, it can be hard to see everyone's happy, shiny lives. I love this time of year but it's one of the lonliest for me and a venue for connection just makes me feel more alien. So, I'm giving myself a break to reinvest in my own life.

I guarantee, I'll be here alot more when I'm not wasting my time looking at photos of strangers, watching cute kitty videos, thinking up witty and interesting status updates and commenting on all and sundries posts.

May not make a whole lot of sense to others, but it's what I need to do. And I might actually get some good writing done, read a few newspapers, and pick up that neglected book on my bedside shelf!

Steinem vs. Snooki: where have all the feminist icons gone?

I recently caught a news segment that showed Gloria Steinem meeting the creators of the Slut Walk, a couple of York University students who began the walk in protest of a Toronto policeman's comment that to stay safe women should not dress like sluts.  The young women duly thanked Ms. Steinem for all she's done to ensure their emancipation and she in turn told them "it's fun."

It struck me as more than a little awkward, and not just because the meeting was staged for the cameras. There seems to be a huge gap between this new generation of feminists and the default leader of second wave feminism. And it got me thinking, why are there no new feminist icons?

When I was first coming into my feminism during the third wave, Naomi Wolf was the conduit between the big issues and how we could readily adapt them to our everyday lives. Who does that now? Snooki? Kim Kardashian? Lady Gaga?

And why do we default to Hollywood and celebrity for examples of femimist leading?

I pose these questions in my latest TVO The Agenda essay: